For those who thought they knew everything!!!

1. The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for Blood plasma.

2. No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times.

3. You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.

4. Oak trees do not produce acorns  until they are fifty (50) years of age or older.

5. The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley’s gum.

6 - No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple.

7. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in first-class.

8. Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

9. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

10. Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

11. The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.So did the first “Marlboro Man.”

12. Walt Disney was afraid OF MICE!

13. In most advertisements, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.

14. PEARLS MELT IN VINEGAR!

15. It is possible to lead a cow upstairs… but, not downstairs.

16. Its impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

17. Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.

18. The sentence the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog uses every letter in the English language .

19. The names of the continents all end with the same letter with which they start.

20. I am. is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

Top 10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations. :-)

1. At the movies:
 When you meet acquaintances/friends…
 Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
 Answer:- Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here…
 2. In the bus:
 A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet…
 Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:- No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia…..why don’t you
try again.
 3. At a funeral:
 One of the teary-eyed people ask…
 Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people.
 Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you?
 4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter Stupid Question:-
 Is the “Butter Paneer Masala” good??
Answer:- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.
 5. At a family get-together:
 When some distant aunt meets you after years
 Stupid Question:-Munna,Chickoo, you’ve become so big.
 Answer:- Well you haven’t particularly shrunk yourself.
 6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask…
 Stupid Question:- Is the guy you’re marrying good?
 Answer:- No,he’s a miserable wife-beating ,insensitive lout…it’s just the money.
 7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call…
 Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?
 Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in
Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping…. you dumb witted moron.
 8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair…
 Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:- No, its autumn and I’m shedding……
 9. At the dentist when he’s sticking pointed objects in your mouth…
 Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts?
 Answer:- No it wont. It will just bleed.
 10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman in your office
asks…
 Stupid Question:- Oh, so you smoke.
 Answer:- Gosh, it’s a miracle ………..it was a piece of chalk and now it’s in flames!!!

Try These

Try these

1. Take off my skin — I won’t cry, but you will! What am I?

2. The more it dries, the wetter it gets. What is it?

3. You answer me, although I never ask you questions. What am I?

4. Which is correct: 18 plus 19 is 36. Or 18 plus 19 are 36?

5. Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain on Earth?

6. What gets whiter the dirtier that it gets?

7. How many times can you subtract the number 5 from 25?

8. Some months have 30 days, some months have 31 days; how many have 28?

9. What can burn the eyes, sting the mouth, yet be consumed?

10. What travels around the world yet stays in one corner?

11. How is it possible to shave three times a day and still grow a beard?

12. Is it physically possible for you to stand behind your mother, and for your mother to stand behind you at the same time?

13. What is harder to catch the faster you run?

Scroll Down for Answers

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Answers:

1. An onion
2. A towel
3. The telephone
4. Actually neither is correct – 18 plus 19 is 37.
5. Mt.Everest
6. A chalkboard
7. Once, because after you subtract it’s not 25 anymore
8. Every month has at least 28 days.
9. Peppers
10. A stamp.
11. If you were a barber, you could shave other men three times a day and still grow your own beard.
12. Yes, if you stand back to back
13. Your breath

WHERE TO TAP

Ever heard the story of the giant ship engine that failed? The ship’s owners tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure but how to fix the engine. Then they brought in an old man who had been fixing ships since he was a youngster. He carried a large bag of tools with him, and when he arrived, he immediately went to work. He inspected the engine very carefully, top to bottom.
Two of the ship’s owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what to do. After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life. He carefully put his hammer away. The engine was fixed! A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for ten thousand dollars.
“What?!” the owners exclaimed. “He hardly did anything!”
So they wrote the old man a note saying, “Please send us an itemized bill.”
The man sent a bill that read:

Tapping with a hammer …………………… $              2.00
Knowing where to tap ………………………. $       9998.00

Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort in your life makes all the difference

Care for the Society

India has become a dumping ground for banned drugs ; also the business for production of banned drugs is booming. Plz make sure that u buy drugs only if prescribed by a doctor (Also, ask which company manufactures it, this would help to ensure that u get what is prescribed at the Drug Store) and that also from a reputed drug store.
The below given names are of some common drugs which have been banned in most of the developed nations but are prescribed and consumed by us to “cure” many diseases without us knowing about the future effects of these drugs.

THESE DANGEROUS DRUGS HAVE BEEN GLOBALLY DISCARDED BUT ARE AVAILABLE IN INDIA.

ANALGIN:
This is a pain-killer. Reason for ban: Bone marrow depression.
Brand name: Novalgin
___________________________________________________________
CISAPRIDE:
Acidity, constipation. Reason for ban : irregular heartbeat
Brand name : Ciza, Syspride  
____________________________________________________________
DROPERIDOL:
Anti-depressant. Reason for ban : Irregular heartbeat.
Brand name : Droperol  
______________________________________________________________
FURAZOLIDONE:
Antidiarrhoeal. Reason for ban : Cancer.
Brand name : Furoxone, Lomofen
_____________________________________________________________
NIMESULIDE:
Painkiller, fever. Reason for ban : Liver failure.  
Brand name : Nise, Nimulid

________________________________________________________________________

 Furacin
________________________________________________________________________

 Agarol
________________________________________________________________________
PHENYLPROPANOLAMINE:
cold and cough. Reason for ban : stroke.
Brand name :  D’cold, Vicks Action-500  
________________________________________________________________________
OXYPHENBUTAZONE:
Non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug. Reason for ban : Bone marrow depression.
Brand name : Sioril  
_______________________________________________________________________
PIPERAZINE:
Anti-worms. Reason for ban : Nerve damage.
Brand name :  Piperazine  
________________________________________________________________________
QUINIODOCHLOR:
Anti-diarrhoeal. Reason for ban : Damage to sight.
Brand name : Enteroquinol  

INFORMATION – Blood Donors -

There is a site http://www.indianblooddonors.com/  where in you can search for a particular blood group. You will get hundreds of donor
Addresses within your city. Please pass this on to everybody you know. We never know when an emergency will knock our life. It’s about SAVING a Life. someone’s life…”
Do You Know?

Blood type and Rh How many people have it? O + 40 % O - 7 % A + 34 % A - 6 % B + 8 % B - 1 % AB + 3 % AB - 1 %

 

Does Your Blood Type Reveal Your Personality?

 

According to a Japanese institute that does research on blood types, there are certain personality traits that seem to match up with certain blood types. How do you rate?

 

TYPE O	You want to be a leader, and when you see something you want, you keep striving until you achieve your goal. You are a trend-setter, loyal, passionate, and self-confident. Your weaknesses include vanity and jealously and a tendency to be too competitive.
TYPE A	You like harmony, peace and organization. You work well with others, and are sensitive, patient and affectionate. Among your weaknesses are stubbornness and an inability to relax.
TYPE B	You’re a rugged individualist, who’s straightforward and likes to do things your own way.  Creative and flexible, you adapt easily to any situation. But your insistence on being independent can sometimes go too far and become a weakne    ss.
TYPE AB	Cool and controlled, you’re generally well liked and always put people at ease. You’re a natural entertainer who’s tactful and fair. But you’re standoffish, blunt, and have difficulty making decisions.

MOST IMPORTANT INFO NOW:  SEND THIS INFORMATION TO EVERY ONE YOU KNOW……….

You Can Receive
If Your Type Is	O-	O+	B-	B+	A-	A+	AB-	AB+
AB+	YES	YES	YES	YES	YES	YES	YES	YES
AB-	YES		YES		YES	YES
A+	YES	YES			YES	YES
A-	YES				YES
B+	YES	YES	YES	YES
B-	YES		YES
O+	YES	YES
O-	YES

  

Call centre job not an easy one.

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can’t get my diskette out.
Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, nothing happens, it must be really stuck.
Helpdesk: That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note
Customer: No .. wait a minute… I hadn’t inserted it yet…it’s still on my
desk… sorry
>>>——————————————————————-
Helpdesk: Click on the ‘my computer’ icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Is that your left or my left?
>>>——————————————————————-
Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello… I can’t print.
Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and…..
Customer: Listen pal; don’t start getting technical on me! I’m not Bill
Gates damn it !
>>>——————————————————————-
Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print.
Every time I try it says ‘Can’t find printer’.
I’ve even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the
monitor, but the computer still says it can’t find it…
>>>——————————————————————-
Customer: I have problems printing in red …
Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer?
Customer: Aaaah………………..thank you.
>>>——————————————————————-
Helpdesk: What’s on your monitor now ma’am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.
>>>>——————————————————————
Helpdesk: And now hit F8.
Customer: It’s not working.
Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?
Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing’s happening.
>>>——————————————————————-
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Helpdesk: Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can’t get behind the computer.
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another
keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there’s another one here. Ah … that one does work!
>>>——————————————————————-
Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a Capital letter
V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
>>>——————————————————————-

A customer couldn’t get on the Internet: -
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes I’m sure. I watched my colleague do it.
Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
>>>——————————————————————-

Helpdesk: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Helpdesk: That’s not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry … Internet Explorer.
>>>——————————————————————-
Customer: I have a huge problem.
A friend has placed screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the
mouse, it disappears !
>>>——————————————————————-

Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech Support, may I help you?
Old woman: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you.
Can You please tell me how long it will take before you can help me?
Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don’t understand your problem?
Old woman: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4
hours ago.
Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me?
>>>——————————————————————-
Helpdesk: How may I help you?
Customer: I’m writing my first e-mail.
Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter ” a “, but how do I get the circle around
it?

Small ’sayings’ of life….

Life is like having a cup of Coffee.
You sit by the side of the window, lift the cup and take a careless sip, only to realize, somebody forgot to put the sugar.

Too lazy to go for it, you somehow struggle through the sugarless cup.
Till you discover undissolved sugar crystal sitting at the bottom…

That’s LIFE!!!

….

Laugh at your mistakes but learn from them…

Joke over your troubles but gather strength from them…

Have fun with difficulties but overcome them…

…

“Words have the power to both destroy and heal.

When words are both true and kind,

They can change our world. . “

…

We never get what we want,
we never want what we get,
we never have what we like,
we never like what we have,
and still we Live.
This is Life……….

…

In life, don’t expect anything from anyone. Because expectation, when not fulfilled, gives you pain. When you get something without expecting it, it gives you pleasure. Keep doing your part and leave the rest to God.”

…

Everything in this world can be seen as you wish to.
Good or Bad; Simple or Complicated; Easy or Difficult.
Its not how things are; its about how you look up to them.
…and how you look up to them is all up to you.

…

The happiest people in the world are not those who have no problems,

but those who learn to live with things that are less than perfect.

…

Life is not measured by the breaths we take

but the moments that take our breath away…

…

Failure is thinking that you can advance yourself by pushing others down.

Success is an understanding that the more you lift others up, the more you’ll be lifted yourself!!!!!

…

When God takes something away from your grasp,

he is not punishing you.

But he is merely emptying your hands, for you

to receive something better.

…

Lunch with God….

A little boy wanted to meet God.
He knew it was a long trip to where God lived, so he packed his suitcase with Twinkies and a six-pack of root beer and he started his journey.
When he had gone about three blocks, he met an old woman.
She was sitting in the park just staring at some pigeons.
The boy sat down next to her and opened his suitcase.
He was about to take a drink from his root beer when he
noticed that the old lady looked hungry, so he offered her a Twinkie.
She gratefully accepted it and smiled at him. Her smile was so pretty that the boy wanted to see it again, so he offered her a root beer. Again, she smiled at him. The boy was delighted!
They sat there all afternoon eating and smiling, but they never said a word. As it grew dark, the boy
realized how tired he was and he got up to leave,
but before he had gone more than a few steps, he turned around, ran back to the old woman, and gave her a hug. She gave him her biggest smile ever.
When the boy opened the door to his own house a short time later,
his mother was surprised by the look of joy on his face. She asked him, “What did you do today that made you look so happy?”
He replied, “I had lunch with God.” But before his mother could respond, he added, “You know what? She’s got the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen!”
Meanwhile, the old woman, also radiant with joy, returned to her home.
Her son was stunned by the look of peace on her face and asked, “Mother, what did you do today that made you so happy?” She replied, “I ate Twinkies in the park with God.”
However, before her son responded, she added, “You know, he’s much younger than I expected.”

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch,! ! a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. Remember,
we don’t know what God will look like. People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Embrace all equally!

You have an email…..

A jobless man applied for the position of “office boy” at Microsoft.
The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.
“You are employed.”
He said.” Give me your e-mail address and I’ll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start.”
The man replied “But I don’t have a computer, neither an email.”
I’m sorry”, said the HR manager, “If you don’t have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn’t exist, cannot have the job.”
The man left with no hope at all. He didn’t know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate.
He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the Operation three times, and returned home with $60. The man realized that he can survive by this Way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late Thus, his money doubled or tripled every day. Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.
5 years later , the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US.
He started to plan his family’s future, and decided to have a life insurance.
He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan. When the conversation was concluded, the broker asked him his email. The man replied, “I don’t have an email”. The broker answered curiously, You don’t have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an email?!!”
The man thought for a while and replied, “Yes, I’d be an office boy at Microsoft!”
Moral of the story:
M1 – Internet is not the solution to your life.
M2 – If you don’t have Internet, and work hard, you can be a millionaire.
M3 – If you received this message by email, you are closer to being an
office boy, than a millionaire……….

Have a great day!!!
Smiling after reading is not mandatory!!!