Definitions you won’t find in the dictionary!

ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS: The only creatures you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

GOSSIP: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.

HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.

INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.

TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character lines.

Just Enjoy!!!!!!!

APPRAISAL
Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without
 
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never thinks
twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always finishes
 
given assignments on time. Often Bob takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
 
breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound

knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
classed as a high-calibre employee, the type which cannot be
 
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be

sent away as soon as possible.

Signed – Project Leader

A MEMO WAS SOON SENT FOLLOWING THE LETTER: “That stupid idiot was reading over my shoulder when I wrote the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd lines (1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13) for my true assessment of him.”